#582
I hate introductions.
Date: 09/18/2001
From: Carmelita9000
I swear, it's my least favorite part of essay writing. It's always the hardest. Introduction and conclusions.
I'm supposed to be writing an essay right now. It's 10:53 on Monday night (well, it is for me. I suppose for most of you it's 1:53 on Tuesday morning), and this stupid thing is due tomorrow, and I just have the intro left to do (I always do the intro last when I write essays. How can I introduce what I'm going to talk about if I don't know what that is yet?). And I hate doing them. So I guess I'm stalling by telling you this instead of working on the stupid essay.
No. I didn't have a point.
But to make this MST related:
Have you ever noticed how the opening host segment, the introduction if you will, in most episodes of MST3k has little or nothing to do with the rest of the episode? I think the Brains had the same problem that I do.
Well, 10:58! That killed a good five minutes! Back to it then!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice-Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the coveted Forrester Cup
hates introductions.
#583
Happy Anniversary, Rimmer!!!
Date: 09/18/2001
From: PharaohMobius
As a present, I give you these Weird Science Super-Stretch Jeans! They're really great for showing off your ass! Say, I guess that would make Evil Mike be all the more inclined to ogle you, huh?
Why'd I say that? No reason! =)
The mad Pharaoh Mobius
Sit back and watch the cat-fight, boys... =)
Sarcophagus!
#584
My favorite Bot
Date: 09/18/2001
From: PharaohMobius
I'd have to say that my favorite Bot of all time was Timmy, followed closely behind by the alternate-universe Mike Bot. When it came to the regular Bots, I'd have to go with Trace's Crow, followed closely behind by Gypsy and Kevin's Servo.
TmPM
Sarcophagus!
#585
Introductions
Date: 09/18/2001
From: PharaohMobius
Say, Lita. I know it wont' do you much good for the essay you were working on last night, but have you ever considered writing your essay's introduction in the same style as an MST3K episode introduction? Just think about it for a moment...
[Interior, Bridge of SOL. Carmelita9000 is sitting back, drinking a mint julip while Evil Mike is fanning her. Servo appears to be giving her a pedicure, and Crow is nowhere to be seen.]
[Lita] Hi there! Welcome to the Essay of Love. As you can see, the boys are adjusting well to my moving in up here...
[Servo, mumbling.] Mumblemumble... I'll give her *adjusting*... grumble grrr...
[Evil Mike, somewhat winded] Can I stop fanning you for awhile? It's been like five hours, already!
[Lita] Did I tell you to stop fanning me? And it has *not* been five hours. You've got ten more minutes of fanning before it'll be five hours.
[Crow enters, wearing a butler outfit. He holds a tray with another drink and some finger sandwiches on it.] Your lunch, ma'am.
[Lita takes a sip of the drink on the tray, and spits it out.] You call this an Aloha? This triple-sec is terrible!
[Crow, feebly] But we're out of triple-sec! I had to use Servo's aftershave!
[Lita throws the glass at Crow.] IDIOT!!! And I told you, cut the sandwiches diagonally, and cut the DAMN CRUSTS OFF OF THEM!!! [She dumps the tray on Crow.] Take this slop away and bring me what I asked for! And clean up this mess!!!
[Crow] Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am.
[Servo, grumbling again.] Lousy toadying lackey.
[EM pauses in fanning.] Man, is *he* whipped.
[Lita] Yeah, it wouldn't be so pathetic if he were actually getting some out of it. Now get with the fanning!
[EM] Yes, mistress!!!
[Gypsy enters.] Lita, we have a ship hailing us on the starboard bow.
[Lita] Put 'em on the hexfield, Gyps.
[Gypsy] Right on, girlfriend.
[The hexfield opens to reveal Rimmer.] Well hi, Lita! Fancy meeting you here!
[Lita] Rimmer! You look great! That hair makes you look *so*... slutty!
[Rimmer] You don't look so bad yourself! That swimsuit makes you look *so*... fat!
[Lita] *That's* it. What're you doing here?
[Rimmer] I'm here to steal away Evil Mike, of course. Oh Mikey...
[EM] Huh? [Notices Rimmer.] ASS! Hey Lita! It's Ass!
[Lita] Yeah, I know. Hey, grab my robe, willya? I don't want to look fa... I mean, I want to look decent for our guest.
[EM] Can't talk now, Ass is here! Gotta go see Ass! [EM runs off.]
[Lita] Evil Mike!!! You get back here, mister!!!
[Servo] This is my chance! Hee-heeeee!!! [Sneaks away.]
[Lita] Servo! Get back here! CROW!!!
[Crow enters and throws a bucket of ice on Lita.] Take this jobe and shove it! I'm outta here! [Crow leaves.]
[Lita] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!
...
On second thought, maybe you *shouldn't* begin your next essay like that... =)
The mad Pharaoh Mobius
Sarcophagus!
#586
Hmmm....
Date: 09/18/2001
From: Carmelita9000
I liked that whole introduction except for all that stuff that happened after Rimmer showed up. (Though the part where I called her a slut was nice.)
<Evil Mike walks by, apparently on his way to feed the cat. Lita gets up and smacks him.>
EM: Ow! Hey! What was that for?
Lita: For all your shenanigans with Rimmer?
EM: Ass? That happened, like, weeks ago.
Lita: Oh yeah? Look at this thing PM wrote right here!
EM: Ok, that didn't happen at all. What, one guy in a stupid hat writes one thing, and I get hit?
Lita: Just see to it that it doesn't happen...
EM: Ass lives all the way over in... uh... that other state somewhere. Hey Lita, don't you have somewhere you need to be?
Lita: <Looks at the clock> Oh shoot! I gotta go to school! See you later everybody!
<Lita bolts out of the room, Evil Mike goes back to feeding the cat.>
#587
About Introductions
Date: 09/18/2001
From: h_wood
Yeah, usually the toughest part of writing... How exactly do you say what you're about to say without saying this is what I'm about to say???
Anyway, I've also noticed how the Opening host segments are pretty unrelated to the rest of the show (Lord of the Dance???). Not as bad as the Simpsons can be at that, where a 30 minute show can sometimes take 15 to get to the point, but still...
h_wood
EAT.com Chairperson
"The got into port and they all were okay, so they went out and got some dinner..."
Gorgo
#588
Ass_Judas_Rimmer?
Date: 09/19/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I'm not sure I'm dreadfully pleased that my new nickname is Ass but now that I've said that everyone wil call me Ass for sure. ;O)
Thanks for the gifts and well wishes everybody. They were sweet. (I shall look fondly upon the pictures of a scantily clad Evil Mike and plot how I shall the real thing soon enough. My new pants might assure me of Evil Mike's love soon enough!)
I went back to visit my old post on Sept. 16, 1999. "What's your about Pearl?" Then my second post was a spam of the first where I corrected my title as "What's you opinion about Pearl?" I gained entry into Cavewoman's exclusive Naming Names Report soon after. (You'll notice mean, evil, wicked Lita had to make note that I belonged in Naming Names for wasting a post during a hide & seek game. The bitch just had to rub it in! And that bathing suit makes her look very fat! Blah!)
Bill's Crow is my favorite. I haven't seen much of Trace's Crow but I like Bill's Crow much more. They say comedy comes from someone else's pain and Bill's Crow deals out much comedy at everyone's pain. (Heh heh heh... as do I... as do I...) Maybe I'm a sadist but Bill's Crow makes me laugh but I think it's because he says all the things I wouldn't dare. My on Pearl is the same. (I'm having a Poke moment where I feel I need to point out that I skipped a word on purpose.) She says the things I wouldn't because I'm really a big wimp.
I wanted to reply earlier but I had a paper to write so I resisted the urge to tease Lita. I have more self control. :oÞ (Well less self control when Evil Mike is in the vicinity.) Take that! Blah! And may your first born feel the wrath of my blah!
A(ss) Judas Rimmer
"A village somewhere is missing their idiot" Will, soon to be winner of Big Brother 2.
#589
I still say Cavey was right to name you.
Date: 09/19/2001
From: Carmelita9000
Spamming the bboard on your very first day. For shame!
Blah blah blah blah BLAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice-Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
Evil Mike's One and Only
is not fat. You all have inaccurate expectations of the female form from years of looking at grotesquely malnourished women being portrayed as beautiful by the media.
Rimmer is still a man-stealing slut though.
#590
How can I be a slut?
Date: 09/19/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I've only been with Evil Mike. I've been with him a lot. And Evil Mike says I'm his best. (Technically that makes Mike the slut then. A big old manslut!)
Blah! A blah on the house of Lita and all her clones!
#591
Oh, no arguments there.
Date: 09/19/2001
From: Carmelita9000
Evil Mike is a huge slut! He's horrible. Not as big a slut as Toblerone, but then nobody is as big a slut as Toblerone. You have no idea how carefully I have to watch him.
As far as you being his best, he'll say that to any girl if he thinks there's a chance it'll help get him into her pants. But I know he only means it when he says it to me. ;)
You know Rimmer, I've been doing a lot of drinki--er... thinking this morning, and I don't see why we should be fighting. As you may have noticed, it was actually Phafaahahoha who first called me fat, and you a slut. He's the real troublemaker here. He's trying to turn us against each other! Probably he's hoping he can sell tickets when we start wrestling.
I say we join forces, head over to MSTBlanca, and trash the place.
<Lita breaks out her trusty crowbar.>
What do you say, Rim? (No, Evil Mike! You can't come along!)
Lita
#592
<grabs a hammer>
Date: 09/19/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I'll help you by busting up his stupid sarcophagus. I hope he's eternally resting in it when I destroy it! The carnage will be amazing!
#593
Violence, carnage, and sexual overtones!
Date: 09/19/2001
From: thedeadoutkast
IM GAME!
Let me get my chainsaw ladies!
TDO
student by day
outkast by nite
pervert since birth...
The Destruction of MSTBlanca
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